Of Shits And Giggles

The Cosplayer is Always Right

• (Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that annually hosts an anime convention. So, it’s fairly common to have cosplayers among our customers at the time of the con. The owner is okay with it as long as they don’t annoy the other customers. On this day, we seat twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young customers near them.)
• Young Customer #1: “What is this? Why are those guys costumed?”
• Me: “Oh, there’s a large anime convention ongoing at the local school. It’s rather common to see them at the times of the gathering.”
• Young Customer #1: *chuckles* “Yeah, what a bunch of dorks.”
• Young Customer #2: “Total nerds.”
• (Since there are no other free tables and they didn’t pre-order a table, they sit near the cosplayers while mocking them under their breath. In the meantime, a cosplayer of Pikachu is talking somewhat loudly on his phone.)
• Young Customer #2: *waves at me* “Hey, you! Tell those dorks to shut up!”
• Halo Cosplayer: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *to ‘Pikachu’* “Dude, not so loud. You’re bothering people.”
• Pikachu Cosplayer: “What? Oh, sorry to bother you guys.” *starts talking again, but much quieter*
• Young Customer #3: “Yeah, that’s right. Shut up, you virgin nerd!”
• Young Customer #1: “Go back to the library, virgins!”
• (At this point, I warn the owner about the behavior of the younger customers. He immediately goes to their table.)
• Owner: “What seems to be the problem?”
• Young Customer #1: “It’s not our fault. Those nerds started to insult us! We’re not going to stay here and do nothing!”
• Owner: “My staff told me the contrary, actually.”
• Young Customer #3: “What?! That b***h waitress is lying!”
• Owner: “Sir, I won’t allow you to insult my staff or customers. Those cosplayers were extremely polite and quiet during their meals, unlike you. If someone must be thrown out, it’s you.”
• (In the blink of an eye, one of the young customers gets up and tries to grab the owner. However, to our surprise, one of the cosplayers playing Batman grabs him by the hair, slams him on the table and holds him still.)
• Young Customer #1: “OW! That f***ing hurts! Who the f*** do you think you are, you motherf***er?!”
• Batman Cosplayer: *in a raspy tone* “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am… Batman.”
• (The two other customers begin to yell, but quickly shut up when all the cosplayers get up and surround them, showing that most of them are clearly larger than them. The mall security arrests the bad customers, and the cosplayers leave after apologizing for the trouble. However, it’s not before we snap a picture with them. Now, we frequently joke about that time when Batman, Pikachu and Master Chief saved the restaurant!)